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Eddie Van Halen Guitar Pattern Rug

 Beyond the ponderosas that guard his driveway, the cold wind screams through the fence lines.

“Agriculture is such a gamble. I mean, it's a way bigger gamble than Las Vegas,” the 66-year-old rancher says, sitting in a wood-backed chair in his living room.

Mementos of his family legacy fill the room. A saddle he bought for $27.50 when he turned 10. The footrest with his family’s brand carved into the leather top. Other heirlooms he hopes to pass on to Sydney, his only child.

Gary Paul takes a quick break and rests his hands on a cattle sorting stick while moving a couple of his bulls into a stock trailer in February 2021. (Forrest Czarnecki/The Gazette)

Forrest Czarnecki

This year, financial hardship and the emotional rollercoaster brought on by the drought has hit home for Paul. When faced with the prospect of what the dollars and cents will look like after a long year of bleeding money, he feels he only has one option.

“I have ignored that answer for lots of reasons,” he says, “Because if I really figured it up, I would start crying. And tomorrow I'd load everything up and sell (the cattle).”

As the last person in the Paul bloodline to run the ranch, the pressure he puts on himself to be considered a successful rancher by financial standards is always present.

With an agricultural family tree stretching back to the 1800s, the weight of five generations rests on Paul’s shoulders. His future is dependent upon something beyond his control — rain.

After months of praying for moisture and a growing mountain of stress, Paul’s attitude has taken a beating.

Even as a self-described overly stubborn rancher who is wed to agriculture, determined to make it no matter what, the cracks start to show.

“Sometimes it makes you feel like a failure,” Paul says.

Gary Paul's semitrailer idles down outside of his ranch house near Yoder after returning from a hay trip to Kansas in December 2020. The hay trips that Paul makes are a way for him to turn over a few bucks, but the profits don't last long, as the average trip is 600 miles and his expenses are often close to what he charges neighbors for his delivery services

 

 

 

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